Non Non Monsieur, Oui Oui Madame

Paris, the city of love. Apparently, also the city of men behaving badly. So badly in fact, that there are a lot of recent job openings.

What has come over these French leaders lovers. One thing is for certain; they seem to have a difficult time keeping their hands, and other body parts, where they belong. Sacré bleu!


On the heels of Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the former IMF (not Impossible Mission Force but the International Monetary Fund)leader, who had to resign after sexual allegations were brought by a maid of the hotel in which Strauss-Kahn was staying, comes the saga of Georges Tron. Tron, a French government minister has been accused of sexually misbehaving with at least two women; both former employees at Draveil city hall.

Marie-Suzanne Le Queau, the district prosecutor, has opened a rape and sexual assault investigation against Tron. Formal charges have not yet been brought, as authorities are awaiting the results of a preliminary investigation.

Tron will possibly learn the "agony of defeat", as both women claim that Tron preferred to give them a therapeutic foot massage that in the words of one of the women, "deteriorated rapidly."

Sharky&Sharky are unsure as to whether Disney will pick up the movie rights to this sordid tale; but in the event they do, the following is provided as a suggestion.

©Sharky&Sharky

From Conception To Decomposition

Before the dust has even settled from the train wreck that is Obamacare(less), comes the caring, all knowing, all seeing folks at the Health and Human Services with a $500 Million early learning initiative. We're glad you asked what an early learning initiative may be.

Seems parents are even more incompetent than we have been led to believe - so incompetent in fact that they cannot teach their 5 year old children to keep still in a kindergarten class. HHS Secretary (why isn't she a Czar?), Kathleen Sebelius warns "...if  a five year-old can't sit still, it is unlikely that they can do well in a kindergarten class, and it has to be the whole range of issues that go into healthy child development."

No question this country needs to immediately do something about this dangerous childhood condition and it needs to do something quickly.

Sebelius teamed up with Education Secretary (why isn't he a Czar?) Arne Duncan to jointly announce the $500 Million program. Said program provides grants to states to determine the best method(s) to address issues affecting educational outcomes for children from birth to age 5. Let's repeat that. From birth to age 5.

Sharky&Sharky DO NOT believe that 5 year-old children should be forced or conditioned to sit still - regardless of whether it will affect the bottom line of drug companies and/or prevent the government from controlling our children from birth.

Sell your house, your car(s), get a third job - whatever it takes - to remove your children from the poison that has become public education. Get your children out of harms way before it is too late.

We already know what this administration has in store for the writers of Sharky&Sharky.

©Sharky&Sharky

Want A GOOD Job

Ever dream of finding a job where no matter what you do in your day-to-day performance you get paid ever more each year? Well look no further citizen, the government wants you!

Until now - that means as of today - government employees whose annual review found their performance "unacceptable" were treated, at least from a financial aspect, the same as employees whose performance was deemed acceptable. Unlike the "real" world, these individuals were paid annual raises the same as everyone else.

See how nice it is when everyone is treated equally - it doesn't matter what you do on the job. The fact that you are "on the job" is all that really matters.

A recently released House Committee report stated:

"Currently, all federal civilian employees, no matter how they are rated on their performance, receive the annual nationwide adjustment in January of each year. Federal civilian employees who are rated as 'below satisfactory' still receive an increase in salary despite the fact that they are underperforming."

For the record. Federal worker union leaders (leaders - that's a joke) are opposed to performance based pay. Imagine that!

During the George W. Bush administration a special system (NSPS - Nation Security Performance Systems) was created at Defense that attempted to more closely tie pay to performance but was repealed by law in 2009. Imagine that!

Well, hopefully a House bill expected to pass Thursday will at least put and end to federal workers with unacceptable performance sucking ever increasing amounts of money out of the pockets of those who actually work. Pay provisions are part of the Defense Authorization bill coming up for a vote this Thursday and if this country knows anything at the Federal level, it is how to spend money to kill people keep us safe.

©Sharky&Sharky

Thank You For Your Contribution

There is no question the political process in this country has turned into a veritable sewer. What once separated this country from most of the rest of the world - one person one vote and the resulting implications thereof - i.e. the checks and balances of the executive, legislative and judicial branches, has become little more than a playground for organized corporate and government corruption.

Enter Judge James Cacheris of the U.S. District Court for Eastern Virginia, who on Thursday struck down a law preventing corporations from contributing directly to candidates campaigns. In a 52 page decision, Cacheris ruled that if human beings can make contributions so can corporations. Why? According to Cacheris - human beings and corporations are entitled to equal political free speech rights. One must ask "How the hell is money changing hands a free speech issue in the first place?"

The ruling came about from a criminal case brought against William Danielczyk Jr. and Eugene Biagi who illegally reimbursed their employees to the tune of $186,000. Said money was contributed to Hillary Clinton, that perfect citizen, during her Senate campaign in 2006 and her presidential bid in 2008.

See how easy it is to circumvent a federal law banning corporate campaign contributions. You simply force your employees to contribute to the candidate, who will kick back big bucks once elected, and then reimburse them. You can usually have hand picked judges back you up.

We would all be better off if Las Vegas was still run by the mob.

©Sharky&Sharky

Emerging States Of Emergency

Is the "Rapture" a slow death?

Across the U.S., the now all too familiar klaxon call "The Governor  (or whoever) has declared a state of emergency" is heard more and more frequently. There is no question many of these "states of emergency" are simply budget ballooning techniques, but an unusual number of natural/environmental disasters seem to have recently reared their collective ugly heads.

Sharky&Sharky do not want to get all biblical, but consider the following:


A plague - that's right a plague of insects has begun in the southern section of the U.S. and will swell to cover the entire southeastern section of the U.S. and spread all the way up to Illinois. The Cicada is back in mass and has not been seen in these numbers for over thirteen years.



Fire and Brimstone. In the past six months Texas has become the eternal damnation as well over two million acres of sweet Texas turf has turned to cinder. Not to be outdone, the state of New Mexico has seen upwards of 490 square miles meet the same fate. Even North Carolina has felt the "devils" torch.

Drought, the partner of fire. When a governor not only declares a state of emergency but proffers a three-day weekend for "Days of Prayer for rain in the Lone Star State" you know the divining rod cannot be far behind. Prayer is a good thing but probably will not in and of itself open the heavens to precipitation.


Floods are ravaging the countries midsection as the mighty Mississippi River swells to levels not seen in almost one hundred years - if ever before. You know things are dire when you have to move prison inmates to higher ground. In addition, almost 4 million football fields of farmland are now under water. Six Midwestern states have experienced the wettest April in 116 years.

You might want to pick up some sheep's blood from your local butcher. Because, maybe the Rapture is more than conjecture?

©Sharky&Sharky

Update 05/22 - We're still here. Guess we weren't worthy 

Unemployed Mohels In San Francisco

Sharky&Sharky always ask - "What's next?" Even we couldn't see this "coming."

Seems the folks who run the lives of the people of San Francisco have decided enough is enough when it comes to not having skin in this game. Even the president's insistence that everyone in the U.S. needs to have a little, but not an excessive amount of skin in the game, is sufficient to dissuade the liberal elites that circumcision is a good thing.

A law banning circumcision is to appear on the upcoming November ballot. Seems nothing is private anymore.

After all "Parents are really guardians, and guardians have to do what's in the best interest of the child. It's his body. It's his choice" says Lloyd Schofield the measure's lead proponent.

We guess only Lloyd knows what is in the best interest of the child. WOW Lloyd. What's next? The banning of breast feeding because the child may grow up to regret it. How about banning children from riding bicycles because they may be afraid of falling off? Or maybe, not learning arithmetic because they may not like it.

Backers of the law are called "Intactivists."

One thing is for certain. If this law should pass, your life will never be intact again.

©Sharky&Sharky

Indiana Says Goodbye To The Fourth Amendment

Boy oh boy citizens you are going to love this.

In a 3-2 decision handed down May 13, 2011 by the Indiana Supreme Court, Justice Steven David, speaking for the court, proclaimed that in the state of Indiana if a police officer wants to enter a home for any reason, or no reason at all, a home owner cannot do anything to block the officer's entry.

Justices Robert Rucker and Brent Dickson dissented.

"In my view the majority sweeps with far too broad a brush by essentially telling Indiana citizens that government agents may now enter their homes illegally..." said Rucker. YA THINK!

Sharky&Sharky want to know where the people who spout the non-sensical "If you haven't done anything wrong you have nothing to worry about" argument stand on this one.

People of Indiana had thought that they had heard the worst from the police state when the Indiana Supreme Court informed the Hoosier state on May 10, 2011, that police serving a warrant may enter a home without knocking or identifying themselves.

Good God America, you are evaporating before our very eyes.

©Sharky&Sharky

UPDATE 5/17/11

In a ruling just handed down by SCOTUS the court ruled that police in Kentucky were within the law after breaking down a man's apartment door because they "smelled" burning marijuana and "heard" what they thought was the sound of evidence being destroyed. No search warrant required.

Soon the sound of a crying baby will be sufficient to break down your door for suspected child abuse.

Goodbye Land Of The Free!

Watch Carefully U.S.

On the brink of an economic meltdown, the poorest country in the Middle East, Yemen, produced a mind boggling crowd of protestors. From "dune to shining dune", the human mass called for the ouster of president Ali Abdullah Saleh.

Yemen's Real Million Man March

Of course Saleh, like any other person in power, does not want to relinquish said power and retorted "We will confront a challenge with a challenge." With the deaths of the latest "saboteurs" as Saleh calls them - can you say "enemy non-combatants" (after all that's what the U.S. calls them) the death toll for the protestors has exceeded 170.

Sharky&Sharky have never considered Yemen stable. In fact the Fukushima reactor complex, today, is probably more stable than Yemen has ever been. But with a large al Qaeda presence that have "sworn vengeance" for the killing of Bin Laden at the hands of U.S. Navy Seals, international alarm has been raised fearing his ouster could prove troublesome for the hand wringers in the west and especially in the U.S. - you know those people who will not profile but will treat their own citizens like shit.

How long will it be before we start seeing pictures like this in Washington, D.C.? 

Hopefully - the sooner the better!

©Sharky&Sharky

Get Rid Of AIDS....By Getting Herpes

By trading one sexually transmitted disease for another, an experimental vaccine may be just what the doctor ordered. Not as tasty as an apple - but hell, apples don't kill you. Unless of course they were sprayed with Alar. But that's another story.

Cytomegalovirus or CMV constantly looks for the HIV virus, which hides in white blood cells, and upon detecting it - eliminates it. So effectively, that a recent study using rhesus macaques monkeys treated with CMV, after being infected with HIV, showed absolutely no signs of AIDS or that they had ever been infected with AIDS in the first place.

Unfortunately, CMV is a member of the Herpes family and once you are infected with Herpes you are infected for life.

If this passes human clinical trials, it is likely to be fast tracked by the FDA.

Look for a resurgence in rave parties from San Francisco to Minneapolis to Provincetown.

Dahling - Get Your Rave On

©Sharky&Sharky

Mind Your Manners

In this new era of political correctness comes this from Hotlanta.

The U.S. has become, to a large degree, a nation of shut-ins, introverts and citizens fearful of their own shadow. Danger lurks behind every corner. You just never know. Maybe these folks are right on the money - unfortunately.

On the way home from a Tim McGraw concert, Jay Rogers stopped in a Shell station as his niece had to find a restroom. "I opened the door for a "gentleman". He walked in, and I quietly said, "Why don't you say thank you for holding the door open?'"

Whoops - bad move Jay.

The "gentleman" said nothing even after being questioned once again by Mr. Rogers outside the station. The "gentleman" then proceeded to pull a gun from his car and shot Mr. Rogers in the stomach. Rogers said, "I passed out in my wife's arms."

Jay spent the next nine days in the hospital recovering from the gunshot.

Sharky&Sharky have no idea what's become of this country, but when you were little your parents always reminded you "Don't talk to strangers!"

And while we are on the subject of parental guidance - as practiced when parents actually took an active role in their children's development.

©Sharky&Sharky

Plump Ripe Tomatoes

Hang up your "Hang-ups" and get planting those plants.

For those who may not know, according to the American Association for Nude Recreation, tomorrow May 14, is World Naked Gardening Day. You can tend to all your dirty gardening chores without feeling dirty - au naturel - as the God of your choice intended.

It is suggested, especially if you live in a strict stuck-up neighborhood, to make creative use of your flora to cover the nasty bits.

Sharky&Sharky never considered themselves to be "green thumbed" but we definitely will be taking a whorticultural class before May 14 of next year.

See you in the furrows!

©Sharky&Sharky

Words For The Wise

The time tested and loved board game, Scrabble, has just published an updated "official list of words" that are accepted during play. The last year the list was updated was 2007 - so it was with baited breath that Sharky&Sharky awaited it's release.

Scrabble, once played primarily by the well educated player with at least a better than average command of the English language, is apparently deteriorating in lock step with the English language as a whole.

Words - once as powerful as bullets shot from a gun and once spoken, like bullets, could never be recaptured. Welcome to the new American lexicon where many of todays words resemble misfires or just plain blanks.

So, with out further adieu, on with some new words.

Thang - apparently required a long time to get this word "approved" - but hey, "It's their thang."

Grrl - so far no "acceptable" bastardization for boy has been been created but we sure would like to know what that Grrl is doing with his Thang?

Innit - a sort of contraction that could be used in the following way. "Hey Grrl, that boy's Thang sure is sweet - Innit?

And for those Navy Seal haters there's this.

Fiqh - simply the expansion of Islamic sharia law.

As the boulder  that is the "Dumbing down of America" continues to roll down hill, gathering no moss but picking up speed; when it finally hits whatever will stop it - there will be nothing but little bits and pieces remaining.


p.s. - Maybe it's time to change the name of the game to Scrabull?

©Sharky&Sharky

Mr. Barry Gets Something Totally RIGHT

As the leader of the free world, Barry got it right. Through connecting the dots the CIA found the home/lair of Osama Bin Laden and Barry blew his sorry ass up. (Parted his butt crack, put a cap in him, sent him to see the virgins).

The piece of shit Bin Laden was living a 40 Miles outside of Islamabad. Who would have thought it? Less than an hour's drive from the capital of our Muslim ally Pakistan. Can you imagine only a mere 1 hour commute from the ISI (Pakistan' Inter-Services Intelligence) headquarters?


Sharky&Sharky in the past has complained about Barry's stupidity and in the future the Sharks will complain and rally against him to be sure. But Not to Today when you are right you are right. Today Mr. Barry you are right. 

A sweet follow up would be for you to bring all the troops home, this coming weekend for Mother's Day.  Much to SharkyandSharky's chagrin this would guarantee your re-election.