Christmas R.I.P.

From reindeers flying through the sky disrupting commercial aviation to Santa Claus committing uncountable home invasions, the time has come to accept the fact that Christmas should be illegal.


Lets look at the facts:


Permits have not been filed with the appropriate authorities for fire inspections.  Christmas trees are very flammable - especially when decorated with cheap Asian light strings.  When they catch fire, and they most certainly will - just keep watching your local news, second hand smoke fills the house and we now know that just one inhalation can KILL YOU.


People climb rickety ladders on unsafe footings without proper OSHA approved climbing apparatus and head protection.  One slip and you will be seriously injured or worse and this will certainly happen - just keep watching your local news.  Hanging Christmas decorations outside your house can KILL YOU.


Many people consume eggnog during the Christmas holidays and many of those glasses are left unattended around small children.  In fact, according to local hospitals, incidents of alcohol poisoning sky rocket due to children drinking alcohol left in glasses during holiday parties.  This will certainly happen - just keep watching your local news.  Alcohol poisoning can KILL YOU.


Nothing like burning wrapping paper in the fireplace after opening all those cheap Asian produced presents.  Don't.  A flash fire may occur and it certainly will - just keep watching your local news.  These fires produce highly toxic fumes, burn intensely and they can KILL YOU.


So, start wringing your hands in fear - not those pesky Salvation Army bells.

This Public Service Announcement courtesy SharkyandSharky

©Sharky&Sharky